New to New Hampshire

When we first moved to New Hampshire my father and his wife would come for regular visits. Basically once a year was regular. They would stay with us for a few days and then we would head to The Cape for the weekend. I love The Cape and they felt the same way. This happened for several years and then finances became tight. Actually I must be totally honest. What really happened is my father and his wife went on an Outer Banks vacation. For them it was all over.

They said that The Outer Banks was so much nicer than The Cape. I find this hard to believe but they have not come back since. They keep trying to convince us that we need to check into renting a house and someday even retire there. They keep telling me about Carolina Designs and what fantastic houses they have listed.

Oh the spirit is willing but the bank account is very week. I will be the first to admit that I love The Cape, but they have definitely caught my interest in The Outer Banks. If they could fall in love with it that much, that quickly, it is a place that I really need to vacation.

Nice Day

We have not had a quite weekend around our house in some time. It just seems like we wait until the weekend to argue about silly things. I begged the hubby and CAL to have a nice day. I didn't want to press my luck and request a nice weekend.

Today was fantastic. This morning we just spent some time together and then the hubby and I went to meet friends. We went to a fair type thing and then out to lunch with those friends. Nice quite lunch and then we went our separate ways. The hubby and I came home picked up CAL and then walked to the toy store around the corner. The boys purchased a plane model and made a huge Christmas list.

Subway for dinner and then home to watch a movie. What a great day.

Parking Lot

I almost had an accident at work today in our parking lot. I was trying to park the vehicle I was driving next to other company vehicles when a boss type person pulled into the parking lot.

He thought I was going to talk to him so he stopped just as I started to make the left turn behind his car. How I missed the back side of his vehicle I will never know. I think God was looking down on me today.

That being said.... I can never understand why people refuse to obey the handicapped signs that are prominently displayed at the front of some parking spots. These spots are not designed for the 15 minute parking people. Which is what most people at my work think. "Oh I am running in for just a few minutes, I will park here." The other thing that is annoying is that the handicapped parking is directly in front of the playground so if someone does park there the kids have to walk through the cars. Now if someone needs the spot that is one thing but if someone parks there because they are in a hurry, is that really the best place.

How do you.......

How do you talk to someone about things when you know they have no interest in your conversation and are in total denial about their situation. They need to hear the truth but you know they will refuse to gain anything from you.

It is like telling your teenager ANYTHING. They know it all and will not even try to learn anything from what you have experienced. The problem is this person is an ADULT. An adult that refuses to admit that they are wrong, even though they have the education and training to know they are wrong.

This person will reveal bits and pieces of their bad situation but refuse to ever put those pieces together.

His turn?

The hubby informed me today that it was "his turn". I had no idea what in the world he was talking about.

Back in August we had back-to-school shopping for CAL, and then the other day I purchased an outfit for work.

This week is his turn. He really "needs" all sorts of things (that he really doesn't NEED) but he wants to focus on shirts.

We have had some pretty good luck lately so maybe we will venture out tomorrow afternoon after I drag him to Lamson Farm Days! Shhhh don't tell him that we are going because he doesn't know yet!

Ladies Bible Study

Last night I started a ladies bible study class. This is my second attempt because the first one didn't work out.

We are working our way through a book about "words". How words can both hurt and heal. I have a huge problem with my words, so I am hoping to get a lot out of this class.

I will keep you updated on my progress and share any helpful hints that they may give!

One down, many to go!

I am so thankful that it looks like we will be able to get CAL's teeth fixed without taking out a second mortgage. I thank God for people who understand that even though we were involved in an Outer Banks foreclosures (or should I just say in a foreclosure) that we are not bad people. We are not irresponsible and worthless. We are good people, who through mistakes, ended up in a bad situation.

We do not have everything settled yet. We will still need to find the finances to do whatever they recommend on that front tooth but, the braces were a huge concern for us. I spoke briefly with a different oral surgeon today and she seemed very willing to try to work with us in any way they can. I loved it when she said that getting CAL healthy was the most important task we had to worry about.

Good news!

We received very good news from the Orthodontist this morning. He is not recommending pulling the tooth and he is VERY affordable regarding the braces. We will need to give the teeth several more months to heal before we do anything.

The tooth that fell out......... will\would need to be pulled anyway in order for the braces to work. He has a lot of overcrowding in his mouth. The only tooth that will still be an issue is the one front that had the root canal. It is amazing how God works.

Really that doesn't help

I have had so many people say to me "if you had health insurance in nc" things would be different. It is not necessarily NC but you can input any state into that statement. Really? I don't care what would be different if I lived somewhere else. We live here! I don't want to hear how everything would be paid for, if only I lived elsewhere. Do people really think that makes someone feel better?

It does not! If I had dental insurance right here in NH, most of the issue would be paid for. If I had some health insurance even more would be paid for. It is my understand that since it was a major trauma injury that medical insurance would pay for some of the repairs even if I didn't have dental.

I can sit around and listen to people talk about the "ifs" all day. The bottom line...... I don't have any insurance, nor do I have any money. If I did........ I would have purchased insurance. We are not irresponsible people. We carried our own medical for over 17 years. We had dental until we moved to NH where it was way to expensive, but we just self paid. We could afford to do that.

Slept in

We were able to sleep in a few extra minutes this morning. It felt pretty good. Had a rougher than usual night last night due to the stress about Cal's teeth. No matter what way we look at it, we are talking about thousands of dollars worth of repairs. I can barely make ends meet now. Every time I get a few dollars saved up we have a bad month and we use our savings.

That being said, I am missing several hours of work today - at no pay - in order to visit the Orthodontist. Talk about a catch 22!

Dentist

CAL's dentist called me at work today to talk about his teeth. He was not pleased with what the oral surgeon had to say and he wants to get another opinion.

Tomorrow we have an appointment with an orthodontist to learn more about how this situation will effect the braces.

It is like a huge puzzle. We have so see how our decision will effect other issues and go from there. It is stressful, but after talking to the dentist today it is not as cut and dry as the oral surgeon lead us to believe.

Meanwhile all these opinions are expensive but so far have been very manageable. The orthodontist tomorrow will be free - including x-rays.

Getting a life

In the past few months I have actually made plans with people and have been socializing. It is hard to believe. I just don't enjoy spending time with someone outside my family. Heck if the truth be known I don't really enjoy spending time with certain family.

I have made several breakfast, lunch, dinner, and free time "dates" with people. I think work has had a very positive effect on my social life.

Not losing weight this way

Well I am not going to lose any weight sitting in my chair and blogging. I just told the hubby to Google us a new map and make the walk about three miles. I will probably pay the price in regards to my heel, which has been much better taking shorter walks.

I am determined to lose some weight and have not ruled out fda approved diet pills.

They say that Indian Summer will be here tomorrow with the temps being in the mid 80's. Today however has that damp fall breeze to the air and perfect for walking.

New Outfit

I don't do this often, but I will post a picture of myself. I hate to have my picture taken. It is funny because that is one of the things that used to drive me crazy with my mother. She would dodge the camera and end up having a horrible picture taken instead of standing still and having an ok picture taken.

Now I am doing the same thing.

I really like the outfit that CAL picked out for me. The white shirt underneath is not new and I am hoping to pick up something else but all-in-all I really like the look.

Someone at work told me that all my skirts were old lady skirts. That is fine with me I really enjoy my old lady skirts.

Hair Cut

It is that time that I start complaining about getting a haircut. I don't know why I dread this task so much. You would think I would love it because it is the one way that I can lose weight fast.

I have short hair but it is so thick that I feel like I lose ten pounds with each haircut.

CAL just took a picture of me in my new outfit and I realized just how badly I need to get a cut. I think I will try to stop on the way home from work one day this week. I wish I had the money to get a cut at a real salon instead of the 15 minute hair cut places.

View from my window

The other day I looked out my window to see the most vibrant rainbow that I have seen in quite some time.

The thing that was very exciting was the fact that the rainbow ended on top of that little steeple.

I begged the hubby to walk down with me because surely there must be a pot of gold hidden in there.

Mack Truck

You know those days when you feel like someone ran over you with a Mack truck. I have been having those quite frequently lately. I am trying vitamins but they have not kicked in yet.

I am sure that CAL was wondering what truck ran over him when this picture was taken. Supersize it if you dare and you can see the tooth that we are having all the trouble with. It is his right tooth. It is not even close to the correct location.

Someone encouraged us to file an auto insurance claim against the Mack truck. Fortunately this injury was not due to a Mack Truck but a game called "scream as loud as you can". CAL found out that he can only scream so loud.

What a man

After getting our bad news at the oral surgeon we headed over to Kohl's, because there is nothing that makes you feel better about not having enough money to fix your kids injury than looking at clothes you need, but cannot afford.

I knew that I would find something that I loved. It is just the way it works every time I don't have money. When I go to Kohl's with money I can never find anything I like and then the money is used for other (probably more important) things.

I found a skirt that I really like with a hint of pumpkin color mixed in. Then I found the perfect jacket. I was trying on the jacket, and "trying" to button it up when CAL asked why I always thought I had to button things. He said it looks so much better with a shirt under and not to button your top layer. He then gave me suggestions and I loved it so much I used money that I should not have spent to make the purchase.

CAL was really getting into picking out my clothes. He made great suggestions and said the best way to hide all the junk in my trunk was to not button things.

Not good news

We just arrived home from the oral surgeon. He gave us few options. Actually two to be exact and they both have the same end result.

Option 1 we can go into the root, cut off the portion that is broken and cement his teeth together and hope for the best. The tooth will probably not stay in but being cemented to the other teeth will work for an undetermined block of time. The down side with this option is that it will be very costly and will not last long and it might also have side effects that could effect the other teeth. Then when he is around eighteen we would talk about a more permanent solution.

Option 2 we can pull the tooth, have a flipper made (which is a retainer with a false tooth) and wait until he is eighteen before we do anything permanent. The down side with this is that the teeth on either side of that tooth were also effected in the accident so we might trigger a domino effect.

They stated that there is little success with the tooth that came all the way out, and in years to come we will probably have to have a bridge or implant inserted for all three teeth.

CAL is taking it like a trooper. He wants the tooth removed and a flipper. I don't know, I think we are going to pray and see what God wants us to do.

I also noticed that the area on his face, that was effected is starting to look a little scared. He was really good about not picking it and it healed so quickly I just didn't think a scar would show up months later. It is not bad and makes him look a little manly. I think he might have to use a little anti wrinkle lotion when he gets much older but he can worry about that in fifty years.

So please say a prayer for CAL, the hubby and I that we make a good decision in all this mess and it turns out good for CAL.

Difficult

Do you have any idea how difficult it is to blog when you are ticked off at the entire world. I have not been this angry in quite some time. I am tired. I am tired of mean people and of constantly feeling like I am being beat down. I am angry at what my son is going through both physically and mentally.

Falling apart

The past few months I think my body has aged well beyond the 41 years of it's real age.

I am convinced that I have plantar fasciitis on my left foot, my fingers are all blistering and are so sensitive, and I just feel old all the time, and tired all the time. I don't know if I am getting to much sleep or not enough. I probably need a physical, but without insurance, those frills are just not in the budget. One good point is that I do not require any sleep aids, including natural sleep aids.

My friend at work gave me a coupon for Centrum Silver. I did go purchase vitamins, but I can assure you they were not designed for "seniors".

Work

We have designated today as a work day. We really need to increase our income. I have thought about another part-time job, but I am so exhausted when I get home, I just don't see how I could do that.

Then again I also know that God would give me the strength, but I wish he would just make our business more profitable.

Went through the bills today. Depressing and hopeful at the same time. The key to our financial "problems" is more income.

Very Bad

We received very bad news regarding CAL's teeth last night.

Shortly after eating CAL showed me a large blister that had developed on his gum, above his right front tooth. I called the dentist and he said bring him right over.

The blister was an abscess so they took an x-ray. The front tooth has a fracture about half way down on the root. He does not think the tooth is savable. He did a root canal and referred us to an oral surgeon. The looked back on previous x-rays and the fracture is barely visible and it was in a location that usually does not fracture. Now, the fracture is about 2 mm wide. HUGE on a tooth.

Now the best part: We were talking to him about the insurance that we qualified for through the state. The one that we were told paid everything: the dental, ortho, and any other medical issue that CAL might have. He informed us that we didn't qualify for the "Gold" plan, which does indeed cover everything. We qualify for the plan that we have to pay for and covers..... are you ready..... NOTHING. Apparently we are not poor enough. If we made just a few (and a mean few) dollars less each month we would have qualified.

I have no idea what in the world we are going to do. The dentist is a very generous man and I am not worried about his portion of the bill but an oral surgeon is going to be several thousands of dollars and then we already know braces are $5,500. I don't even make $5,500 a year.

Today the hubby and I are sitting down once again to see what we can cut out of the budget! I guess those work clothes and lingerie that I had already pick out will have to wait. I know that God will provide. I just thought he had provided the insurance, but now it looks like that was not meant to be. I get so stressed on this roller coaster we call life.

Just one weekend..... PLEASE

The past few weekends have been very difficult for this family. I have no idea why but Saturday has been designated as our "fight" day.

I look so forward to the weekend and then something happens that starts a war. It is only 7:25 a.m. on Saturday and we are already off to a horrible start.

I am tired, frustrated, and frankly don't see any light at the end of our tunnel.

I pray for a few months with NO problems or drama, I need to recharge!

My Home Town

I came from a very small town in New York State, on what they refer to as The Southern Tier. It was a little hole in the wall down with a blinking red light, a gas station and three or four bars.

I love facebook because it has reconnected me with several very special people from my past. Some of these people I have more in common with today than when we were younger.

One thing I noticed this summer is that many of these people (a few years older and a few years younger) are very active in seeing concerts. I think almost once a week, several would post that they had concert tickets to this show or that.

Some of the bands I remember from the good old days.