I have not blogged about CAL's bullying issues very often because for the most part it is embarrassing for both him and us. Let me just say that it is a daily issue. I have talked to the teachers who "assure" me that it is NOT as bad as we think and that it is "boys being boys". They have claimed not to know about most of the issues, but when I come back with facts they suddenly remember "a little".
This School District has a HUGE problem with bullying. I have been talking to a teacher at the high school and she fills me in..... it only gets worse.
How serious is it for us. We are again talking about moving. If we move it won't be out of NH but just out of this district.
This weekend was horrible. We have new neighbors and those neighbors have decided to become friends with the horrible boys that live on the road in back of us. According to CAL this one child is the biggest "source" of giving him crap. He has an older brother that is mean to CAL one day and then hangs out with CAL until 10:30 the next. It is hard. The Hubby and I want to forbid CAL from hanging around these kids but honestly he is going to have to learn that lesson on his own.
So back to this weekend. I will call the one neighbors the Robbie family and the new neighbors will be called the Quick family.
The Robbies were having a bom fire and the Quicks were invited. CAL said "can I come" and the Robbie boy said "YEAH, sure", and then a few seconds later said "oh wait, you can't because we can only have five at the fire and we already have five, sorrrrry". CAL just said "ok" and walked away.
On Saturday on the Quick boys came to the house and CAL answered the door. "Can we borrow your bat, we are having a wiffle ball game and we want your bat", CAL said "Sure I will be over in a few minutes". The boy then said "Oh your not invited, we just want to borrow your bat."
Yesterday the Quicks had a party. They invited several mutual friends including the Robbies. We were not invited, which is ok with me, they are all a bunch of jock wanna be's. But they could have invited CAL since there were about ten kids that CAL is friends with. Late in the day they came to the door and asked CAL to come play. I really wanted CAL to say no but he was sure they would be nice. I watched from the bedroom window. When CAL went out they immediately asked for his bat. CAL said "No" and they they proceeded to get in his face and tell him "we are going to kick your butt (they used another word) unless you get the bat." CAL stood his ground but they became increasing more hostile as he did. At one point the ball went into a big bush and the one Robbie boy was trying to get it. He couldn't "find" it so CAL went to help. When CAL leaned over to look in the bush the kid pushed him from behind.
I have talked several times to the Robbie parents. She admits that her kids are bullies, assures me it is wrong, but then doesn't do anything about it. Now I know that she has bad-mouthed us to the Quicks. This puts me in a difficult position. I feel like I cannot complain about the bullying to the Quicks or that would be proving the Robbies right.
The only time that I have demanded that something be done is when they attacked CAL in gym class, threw him to the ground and he came home from school with a 2 1/2 inch goose egg on his head. The problem with that is when the school took action several children then accused CAL of being a snitch (CAL actually lied to us about the situation so that these kids would NOT get into trouble) and they harassed him for days. I then demanded that something be done to this group of kids and about five or six, were given lunch detention - together - what a party that must have been. I think that one of the Robbie boys was involved in this situation - but CAL never mentioned his name. His name was actually used by another kid that I accused of being the ring leader. That kid sang like a canary and accused several other kids that I didn't even know about. I believe that is when the Robbie mother became very angry with us.
Everyday there is something. I told CAL to take his phone and video tape when the kids are being mean. He tried that on Friday. CAL took a video of a kid slapping him repeatedly on the back. The problem is in the video because CAL was trying to protect himself and his phone you cannot tell what the kid is doing.