This one struck me as funny.
Is CNN talking directly to me. How dare they? I must confess that I am guilty of two of them. I have sent several emails while I am angry (but not to
CAL's teacher) and I have brought up problems from previous years. I don't agree with that one however, We are expected to learn from the past and if I feel that my child is being treated unfairly then I will make sure that the next year that doesn't happen.
One year CAL had a teacher that would send him to the principal every time there was an issue. Her thinking was that she didn't deal with discipline, and the "issues" always happened on the playground and she was not there. If someone came in and said "this happened on the playground with CAL" she would just immediately send him to the principal. Kids tell on kids for various things. They are not always deserving of a visit to the principal. I talked to her and told her how much it bother CAL to be sent to the principal for minor issues. I "thought" we had an understanding. The very next day she sent him to the principal because he grabbed the arm of the girl in front of him in line because she was suppose to stop and didn't.
Anyway here is
CNN's list.
DON'T ignore the material sent home.
Every year, Daniell Middle School teacher Helen Arrington gives out a packet of information, which her 7th grade science students are required to have their parents sign.
And every year, she says, half of the parents sign the paper without even looking at it. Then when there is a problem, many of those same parents say, "Oh, I didn't know you had help sessions."
"Spend the time to read the information," Arrington said. "Let the kids know that what the teacher has written is important enough for you to read carefully."
DO make contact early, whether it's at the school's open house or just with a simple phone call.
"Even if there's nothing wrong, make that contact," Thompson said.
Arrington agrees that even an e-mail to say, "How can I help?" can go a long way toward kicking the year off on the right foot. Sometimes it even improves behavior when students know that line of communication is already open, she said.
DON'T send an email when you're mad.
Or make a threatening phone call. Or storm into a teacher's classroom during a lecture -- a situation Bryant Primary School principal Patrice Moore says happens frequently.
"Going directly to a classroom to question a teacher pulls time away from instruction, goes against most school visitation policies and can cause a parent to be permanently banned from being on campus," Moore said.
Her suggestion? Take a few hours to calm down after your child tells you about a problem, then set up an appointment.
DO remember there are two sides to every story.
Thompson, Arrington and Moore all say your child will tell you only part of the story -- leaving out the stuff that could make him look bad.
"I did that when I was a kid," Thompson said with a laugh. "You don't want to get in trouble, so you don't exactly lie but you don't exactly tell the story as it was."
In your initial phone call to a teacher, be clear that you want his or her side of the story, Arrington said. And take your child's perspective into consideration.
When Arrington's daughter Nancy came home one day and said her teacher hated her, Arrington immediately called to get the teacher's point of view.
"The teacher said, 'I just thought I knew Nancy well enough to tease her.' She didn't realize that Nancy was interpreting it that way," Arrington said.
DON'T bring old problems from the past into this school year.
If parents didn't have a good experience with the school system, or a past teacher, they shouldn't assume the same problems will crop up again, Thompson said.
Also, allow for a bit of leeway at the beginning, when teachers are often most strict to set the ground rules for students.
"I always say, I don't care what they say about me the first day of school, but what they say about me at the last day of school," Thompson said.
And if you still don't see eye to eye after a few months?
"Chalk one up for education," Arrington said. "If the teacher thinks differently than your parental philosophy, your child is learning more than you can teach her."
DO follow up with higher-ups.
If things didn't go as you would have liked and you still think the teacher did something unprofessional, feel free to contact the administration.
"If something doesn't feel right, take it to the principal and ask that they conduct an investigation," Moore said. "Give the school a chance to get to the bottom of the situation and find a solution."
If everything is resolved, follow up with a thank-you note.
And most important: DON'T forget that everyone is on the same team.
Everyone -- that's you, your child and your child's teacher -- are working toward the same goal. Fostering a sense of cooperation will get everyone working together instead of pulling in opposite directions.
"Teachers want parents to be involved," Thompson said. "Problems occur with a lack of information or miscommunication."
Have I ever mentioned that I was fired from the school for sending an email that was of a different opinion than the teachers? Yes, the teachers were involved in a contract dispute and I sent an email to other parents saying that we should stop volunteer activities because the teachers were being unfair and ridiculous in their contract requests. I was fired. I was told that I could continue to do all my volunteer jobs. I put in about 400+ volunteer hours a school year. Yes you read that right. I volunteered more than most of their "employees" worked. Two months before I was fired, my family was voted "School House Heroes" for all our work.
